Having ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) or Autism isn’t always a plus or always a minus.  It’s more like being left-handed when most people in society are right-handed and most products are made for right hands.  We are wired differently.  Everything can work well, but others occasionally need to adjust to us and we constantly need to adjust to them. 

By the way, when I say “we” and “us” I’m referring to the fact that I’m a therapist who also happens to be an ADHDer.  Along with being a woman, and identifying as queer, it’s one part of my identity.  Having ADHD or Autism doesn’t determine what kind of lives we lead, but you and I probably have experienced similar peaks and valleys.  We may both feel similar pressures to show up “neurotypically”, urges to move quickly from this task to that task, and challenges to pay attention to “little things” other people seem not to notice or care about. As with other types of neurodivergence, life with ADHD or Autism can be both rewarding and vexing.

Whether you’ve been diagnosed with ADHD or Autism or you consider it the closest thing to describing your state of mind and how you’re wired, I can offer my support.  You get to decide exactly what that help looks like: you’ll decide how you want to make sense of being an ADHDer or Autistic person, and what your goals are for living with it.  I am simply here to help with the “how,” using research, personal experience, and outside-the-box thinking to help get you there.

Why work with a counsellor who has ADHD, too?

You may be thinking, “I want help from someone who doesn’t have the same problems I do!”  Fair enough: everyone has a different type of therapist they click with best and you get to choose who is best suited for you. One thing to consider is that I have insider knowledge about neurodiversity precisely because I’ve walked in your shoes.  As someone who has been a business owner, business coach, and yoga instructor, I’ve learned to embrace my hyperfocus strengths while not being consumed by them.  You can do the same.

Without an understanding of how ADHD and Autism, we too often blame ourselves for things that aren’t our fault.  Too often we also fault ourselves when we’re not comfortable with things that are designed for people with brains organized a little differently from ours. Too often we force ourselves to live “neurotypically” without realizing we are hampering our strengths.

If ADHD isn’t all bad, why seek therapy for it?

One word: balance.  You’re not trying to eradicate your ADHD (it is a valid expression and experience) but certain aspects of it are creating genuine problems – perhaps at work, at school, among friends, or even when you’re by yourself.  You would like to navigate the challenges with more ease.

You may have noticed that I don’t list 14 different areas of practice here on my “bio” page: just this one.  Helping people navigate ADHD, Autism, and trauma is why I’m here, and why I wanted to become a therapist in the first place.

I can help you beat yourself up less, minimize the parts of ADHD or Autism that drive you crazy, and build on the parts of it that you consider strengths.

If being on the spectrum is just part of who you are, why consider therapy for Autism?

It’s hard to tell where people’s personalities, thought patterns, and mannerisms end and Autism begins.  Often they’re hard to distinguish from each other, especially to an outside observer.  Your cadence of speaking, the ways you “read” other people, the types of people you click with, and other moving parts are just part of who you are, as is the case with everyone else.

Generally, if you don’t find yourself thinking about Autism much, and mostly think about it when someone reminds you or infers that you’re “on the spectrum,” then you probably have little need for counselling.

On the other hand, if you find yourself thinking about Autism all the time and attributing certain challenges to it, it may be worth working with a counsellor who can help you untangle the plate of spaghetti. There are many strengths, and equally many challenges, to being Autistic in an Allistic (non-Autistic) world. We can work together to help you find your way through. 

Are your challenges deeper than ADHD or Autism?

Speaking of things to untangle: many people with ADHD or Autism tend to have experienced trauma.  The traumatic event(s) may have happened in early life, but the diagnosis (helpful or not) may have come later in childhood or even in adulthood.

Other people may have chalked up every issue (big or small) to ADHD or Autism, but you’ve always suspected that there’s much more to it than that.  You’re likely correct.

Often, my clients find that navigating their ADHD or Autism is an opening move, rather than the endgame.  If you want to make sense of your past, as a way of figuring out yourself, I’m here to help. If you have traumatic experiences that are hooking you into the past, we can work gently together to process them at your own pace.

What to expect as we work together

Understanding and navigating your ADHD or Autism is a process.  There may not be one moment when everything falls into place (though sometimes that happens, too), but there will be signs that we’re “clicking” together and that our approach is working out for you.  Here are some of the moments or milestones you may experience:

• Start feeling heard and understood, perhaps for the first time.
• Get a safe environment in which you can be yourself and not need to keep your uniqueness under wraps.
• Learn more about ADHD and Autism and make more sense of why you do what you do, and why you do it the way you do it.
• Learn more about yourself and ADHD through metaphor and examples.
• Start understanding your experiences as “normal” or normalized (i.e. therapy jargon for “it’s not your fault”)
• Identify your executive-functioning strengths and other strengths.
• Develop a genuine connection with a fellow traveller – someone who can lament with you and laugh with you about the same things.

Next step: a short, casual, complimentary discussion

If you’ve got ADHD or Autism and feel it’s time to strike a different balance – one that makes day-to-day life easier overall – we can schedule a complimentary ~20-minute chat about you and your goals.  I am currently available for online therapy.  You can contact me today to schedule a time to talk.