Colin Hayward

If a carpenter ant were to walk into the room during one of our counselling sessions, here are some things it might hear (from you):

• “Wow, I didn’t expect to talk so much – I guess I have thought about these issues.”
• “You’re the first person I’ve ever told that to – I didn’t want to burden family or friends.”
• “A lot of things in my life are pretty good, so I just want to keep making steady progress.”

A few things the little ant would never hear (from me):

• “Why didn’t you see a therapist sooner?”
• “That’s a bad relationship.  You need to end it.”
• “I’ve already figured it all out for you: just do the following….”

Sometimes you just need one person you can share anything with.  You’re a deep thinker, but thinking about your emotions doesn’t come naturally.  Often you’re able to talk about what’s on your mind, but you don’t want to keep relying on family or friends, because you don’t want to max them out.  You’re a tough person, and you can handle tough times, but overload or a lack of balance has made daily life unnecessarily tough.

You’re not alone.  Most (though not all) of my clients are men, many of whom have a lot of questions about therapy, are skeptical of the process, and aren’t accustomed to asking for help.  My approach is to help you help yourself.  You just need to get your thoughts out, and haven’t been able to bring them up to anyone, for one reason or another.  With me you’ll find it is pretty easy to get a heavy thought off of your chest, and that things get easier once you’ve done so.

Therapy doesn’t need to be mushy.  You may or may not think of yourself as “sensitive,” or maybe it’s complicated.  Many of our strengths and weaknesses are two sides of the same coin.  Great sensitivity, for instance, may make you an excellent friend, spouse, coworker, etc., but can also cause many things to stick in your craw.  A hard-charging work ethic may have produced your proudest achievements, but it also may mean you tend to put yourself last.  Examples like this are endless.  Everyone comes to therapy with a unique mix of challenges and strengths.  One way to describe my job is that I’ll help you figure out which strengths and challenges are “sold as a set,” and which challenges we can separate out and work on in a way that’s practical and doable.

My goal is to help you discover overlooked strengths that help you navigate the hard places in your life. Sometimes this means sharing specific skills and sometimes it means simply listening and reflecting as you share important stories.

I tailor my approach to your specific needs. There are many ways to heal and grow, and together we will find what works for you. Whether you’re experiencing grief/loss, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, difficult interpersonal relationships, or other challenges, I can help.

The same is true of couples, by the way.  Couples also have their own unique strengths and weaknesses, which are often difficult to parse.  With couples, I focus on building communication skills, while also focusing on the emotions that sit underneath areas of conflict and stress.

A few examples of challenges I can help you with:

• “What does it mean to me to be successful? What kind of person do I want to be?”
• “Why do I sometimes find it so hard to take care of myself instead of focusing on others?”
• “How can my partner and I navigate big changes, like kids leaving or retirement?”
• “How is my anxiety affecting my personal relationships?
• “How can I grieve appropriately, while still continuing to live life and take care of others and myself?
• “How do I create more boundaries that help me balance work life and my family?”

And many more.

Next step

With me you can share everything that is going on in your life.

Feel free to contact me today to book a 20-minute, no-obligation consultation.  If you choose to work with me, we can meet in-person in Guelph, or over the phone or Zoom.  Whenever or however we meet, I look forward to learning how you’re put together and how we can make the different parts work together more smoothly.

An obligatory word about me and my background

I have been a psychotherapist since 2020. Before that I worked for several years in student services at the college and university level. Outside of the office, I enjoy riding my bike, and playing tennis & soccer.  If I am not outside, you might find me cooking or baking bread.